Some Must Have’s for First Time Desi Parents

In the past almost 6 years, a lot of my friends have had a baby or two, very few have had 3 like us. Two of my closest friends are having babies this coming May.  Needless to say I am very excited and happy for both couples.  After talking with both mommies-to-be on separate occasions, I decided to share my opinions about some of the stuff desi parents should either register for or buy that will be useful during the first several months following the birth of your child. 

Being desi, we have a weird mentality where we hesitate to register for things unlike most of our peers do. This is the first and biggest mistake we can make, but naturally we learn with time that it’s a hassle to return the unwanted gifts we get stuck with because we didn’t register. There are things you want for your baby, and believe it or not, there are friends that want to buy you gifts that you will use. Although there is no guarantee that everyone will buy gifts from the registry, if you register and let people know, you at least can hope people will shop from the registry. Babies R Us, Amazon.com, buybuybaby.com, and Diapers.com, are all wonderful places to register with, and the registry can be done in the comfort of your home!

With that being said, the most important thing to purchase is an infant car seat and stroller. You can’t take the baby home from the hospital without a car seat. My recommendation is to get a travel system only because it makes it easier to simply snap the car seat out of its base in the car and snap it into the stroller. All three of our girls used a Maxi-Cosi car seat. With the oldest we used it with a Quinny stroller, and later on ended up buying a double stroller which I absolutely hated!  Our youngest is almost 2 years old, and at that time, we decided to buy the travel system where the car seat held a baby weighing up to 35 pounds. Rear facing is the safest position for your child. Babies tend to grow out of their car seats rather fast so keep this in mind when registering for (or buying) a travel system. Most infant car seats will accommodate a baby weighing 22-25 lbs. Another thing to consider is that you don’t want to buy a car seat that is very heavy; sure the first month or so it’s ok, but adding 10-15 pounds to an already heavy car seat is NOT fun.

The one travel system I absolutely recommend, is the Britax B-Ready. The car seat of my choice would be the B-Safe car seat. Although this travel system is intended for infants, so if you do decide to go with this one, be prepared to buy a convertible car seat (but keep it rear facing!) if you have a big baby. The term Irish Twins should be re-considered; the new term should be Desi Twins. I know several desi families (myself included) where two children (some even more) are between 10 and 18 months apart. Keeping this in mind, the Britax B-Ready, as the name implies, is one stroller that will have you ready to accommodate Irish or Desi Twins. It is a little pricey, but in the long run will be cheaper than having to buy a double stroller if need be.

Another great option is the Graco Click Connect series. The car seats accommodate children weighing up to 35 pounds. The stroller accommodates children weighing up to 50 pounds, making it a worthwhile purchase. The newest car seat Graco has in the market can accommodate a baby weighing up to 40 lbs. It is a SnugRide Click Connect 40. All the click connect car seats are supposed to fit the Click Connect strollers. Though this particular car seat more than likely will be able to accommodate your baby until he/she is 2, it is a very heavy car seat, weighing slightly more than 23 lbs. 

Another absolute must have is a swing. There are several reasons to get a swing for your child. Each of our child used a swing. The swing will keep your child entertained and might even rock him/her to sleep while mommy and/or daddy do other household chores. We used a Fisher-Price Cradle Swings for all three kids. It comes with an AC power adapter so you don’t have to worry about batteries. There is a mobile attached and it plays music and the lights light up (in most). These are big but very comfy. The seat covers come off so you can wash them easily.

Being a Desi, I don’t recommend buying a crib right away (unless you have one that will be 10-18 months old when the next baby arrives, in which case, YOU NEED A CRIB). I know that probably sounds horrible, but truth be told, most desi’s are better off investing in a co-sleeper at first. Pack & Play’s just are not comfortable; our third despised it and we ended up returning two. The Arm’s Reach Ideal Co-Sleeper Bassinet is the one I recommend using. If you will be sharing the bed with your baby, then be sure to purchase a Snuggle Nest by Baby Delight. This is what we used with our first born and believe it or not, she was my only child (so far) that slept 8 – 10 hours through the night by the time she was 1 month old. Cribs are wonderful, personally, I didn’t use the crib until my children were older. Depending on how much space you have and what your budget is like, if you will be investing in a crib, my only recommendation is to get a convertible crib so you may be able to utilize it in the future.

Another must-have item is receiving blankets. The better your baby is wrapped, the more secure he/she will feel and the longer the child will sleep. The Swaddleplus Wraps by aden + anais are a better receiving blanket to  buy when compared to others. For one thing, these are made from a breathable material (100% muslin) so you don’t run the risk of overheating or discomforting your child. Moreover, these are a generous 44x44 size so you can use them as a stroller or nursing cover too. Another great product along the same line is from the Summer  Infant SwaddleMe line. The baby feels safe and secure thus resulting in sleeping better. Just bear in mind these Swaddling wraps come in different sizes and various materials. These too are washable. We used the SwaddleMe until the baby was 4 or 5 months old.  

If you are a mom on the go, you should consider a baby carrier or sling. By the time your munchkin is 8 or 9 months, and if you are running a quick errand to the post office or pharmacy, getting the child in the stroller or in a cart maybe a hassle. Or if you are like me and plan to travel with an 18 month old and a 7 month old by yourself, taking 1 in the stroller and the baby in a carrier is the smart way to do it. Whether you want a wrap or a carrier, the only brand that I would consider buying is a MobyWrap. The Moby Go Carrier is ideal as it is safe and comfortable, with wide shoulder straps and a side shoulder design allowing the baby’s weight to be distributed evenly. It holds children weighing 15-45 pounds. If you are registering for a carrier, this is one to get!

Another decent investment to make might be on a diaper bag. This is the one accessory that you as the mommy will be sporting for the next year (give or take a little). With our first I did not give it up until I got the Burberry Baby Bag I wanted, but to justify that purchase, I have used it with all 3 of my kids (it’s definitely paid for itself). After our third, my husband bought me a Kate Spade Stevie Baby Bag, and by far it has easily grown to become my favorite. The one in the picture is a different color than mine. The bag is HUGE. It holds a lot  and the bag itself is very light weight. It has a zipper so it closes completely. There are plenty of pockets. Both bags easily double as a diaper bag, and as my own bag. 

If you’ve got a Desi Boy that helps you without you asking, be grateful! Some Desi Boys still believe the women’s place is in the kitchen, and that Desi Girls should do the house work and everything related to the child by themselves. If you’ve got a traditional Desi partner, don’t waste your time or money in getting a Diaper Bag for Daddy. For those women that are blessed with a helpful partner, investing in a diaper bag for Daddy may actually be something for you to consider. Needless to say, my husband has helped a lot with our kids, and still does. On weekends when I have a lot of homework pending, he happily takes the girls to the park, Monkey Joe’s, and/or Chuck-e-Cheese. Although he doesn’t need to pack a complete diaper bag when taking the girls out now (I keep diapers, an extra outfit, and wipes in the car), but it has been something we've used. When we went to Disney World when the older two were 6 months and 17 months old, we packed two diaper bags. That being said, the Fisher-Price Fastfinder Diaper Bag is one to consider purchasing for daddy. It has an insulated bottle pocket, a zippered pocket for pacifiers, a separate compartment for wipes, and best of all, each pocket/compartment has a picture on it so he can easily remember where each item is kept. This bag can be used by mommies too, and might even be a good bag to pack when dropping the baby off at a relative’s house. There are other brands to consider if buying a diaper bag for daddy, such as Diaper Dude, and DadGear, but the cute pictures on this one are what drew me in!

Other items you might want to purchase prior to bringing the baby home may include pacifiers. Sometimes the baby only wants to suckle on something, and pacifiers are great! Our older two used a pacifier, the baby however didn’t want anything to do with it. We used Nuk and Avent Soothie pacifiers. 

If you decide to bottle feed your baby, you will need to buy bottles. Although in the beginning depending on which formula you use, you can buy 2 oz. Nursettes of ready to feed formula. These are wonderful for the first month or so, but by then the baby will most likely require more milk than 2 oz. per feeding. Of the different bottles we’ve used, I liked the Tommee tippee the best, and my second preference would be the Avent bottles. If you will be using bottles, you can consider purchasing ready to feed formulas, they come in 2, 6, and 8 oz. or you can purchase powdered formula, and a formula dispenser to keep in your bag for when going out.

If you will be nursing your baby, do invest in a good pump. You will want one that is reliable and can be used daily. The things to consider will be durability and portability; Madela Electric Pumps are the most popular. If you decide to nurse, you will definitely want a nursing pillow and may even consider a nursing cover. A Boppy pillow is a good pillow to buy, because it is versatile and has many uses. Besides being a nursing pillow, it has many uses such as helping to prop the baby up, aiding in tummy time, and at 6 or 8 months, can help your baby in sitting up. The covers come off and are washable. You can also buy different covers if you want too. There are several kinds of Boppy's to choose from. We had the basic one seen in the picture. 

Some other things which you will need are lots of onesies, burping cloths, and bibs. Try to keep your child in light layers, and onesies are one thing we used a lot of. Teething toys, baby food, and utensils normally don’t come into play until the baby is 4 to 6 months old. A high chair is nice to have, but again won't be used until the baby is 4 to 6 months old. Diapers, wipes, baby shampoo and lotions should be bought of your preference and depending on your child's needs. Some people like Diaper Pails, though we had a Diaper Genie, the pail has to be emptied, and at times there were diapers that were 2 days old. We stopped using it. We prefer to dispose used diapers in a bag tightly closed and toss it in the garbage. We take our garbage out daily, so the dirty diapers get thrown out with the regular trash daily. 

Babies are simply wonderful! Sure life changes dramatically after each child, but the joys a baby brings with it are irreplaceable. The first smile, the coo's and caa's, the baby smell are all amazing! As I sign off, my mind runs through the several memories I have of my munchkins and when they were small enough to hold and snuggle… but for now, 3 little princesses are all this Desi Girl can handle.