Murphy strikes inevitably

The semester is about to come to an end, and I still can’t believe I am actually almost (keeping my fingers crossed) done with my bachelor’s. Like most desis, I too am very superstitious. Several years ago, while in Pakistan, I saw a palmist, who many people claim is indeed gifted and never wrong. I remember him distinctly telling me that it will be close to impossible to finish my bachelor’s but that if I am able to, (and let me just add, according to him not only am I incredibly lucky, but that I have god’s luck on my side; he mentioned something about there being two types of luck and I am one of those rare people that has both lucks on my side) anyways, he predicted that my bachelor’s degree would be the first step towards achieving greater heights in life.

Up until this point, everything he has told us and predicted has been dead on! He told my husband that he’s going to travel overseas sometime when he is 27 or 28 and surly that was dead on. He also told my husband he will be working in the marketing field but should try to change his line of work to something that is more hands on. He said we’d have 3 kids, and though we’ve always wanted 4, I think right now the husband and I are very happy with our 3.

There have been several hurdles in my path to completing my Bachelor’s. My first semester as a junior at FAU I was married. I tried to come back after 1 year, but having my husband so far away and the death of my Grandfather all held me back, so I threw in the towel and went back to Pakistan. Shortly thereafter we moved to Florida from Pakistan and had 2 kids back to back. I struggled against all odds and told my husband how badly I wanted to finish school and as always, he was super-duper supportive. Finally I decided to make a comeback after almost 5 years. My first semester back was awesome and I was able to get admitted in the Online BBA program and was to start in the Fall semester. I was all set and registered for the locked down accounting program, and that was when Murphy hit hard.  

Having a horrible pregnancy, I spent more time in the hospital from constantly being dehydrated and suffering from migraines. I had to medically withdraw from my classes. Withdrawing was not pushing me back simply 1 semester, it was pushing me behind 1 whole year! I mustered up the courage to go back the very next semester after deciding that a bachelor’s was most important, thus changing my major from accounting to management. In the spring 2012 semester I gave a final at 4 am and delivered a baby at 9 am on the same day. I took the summer semester off and decided to pick up the pace during the fall semester.

After more issues kept propping up, I decided on declaring a second major in marketing and a minor in Business Law. FAU offered some classes and didn’t offer other classes; there were pre-requisites that needed to be met, basically Murphy kept striking and I kept pushing through!  By the way, for any and all that are in the Management program at FAU, it is best to be a double major, you need the extra classes in order to graduate.

Somehow, and I seriously don’t know how, but somehow, I made it to this final semester. Surly, Murphy has been up to no good. My daughter broke her arm and I thought that would be the hardest I was going to get hit before graduation, but nope, Murphy isn’t playing around; anything that can go wrong, WILL GO WRONG!

With that being said, as though the pressure of graduating isn’t enough, my mom fell sick. She’s normally a very healthy person. She’s isn’t a typical grandmother to my kids, she is very active. She’s helped out a lot throughout the past several semesters, when she is here that is. It started out as what she thought was either gasses or muscular pain. The pain not ending convinced her to get an EKG which landed her in the hospital. Not too long afterwards, she went through an angiography which showed the cause of the pain in her chest was indeed the result of an artery being 90% blocked! The docs put in a stent, and now she’s back home thank goodness.

Desis will all agree, Desi Moms are simply the best! They will put up with anything and everything just to see their kids smile. Being scared she might miss my graduation she didn’t want to go for the angiography, buy once we were able to convince her otherwise, she wanted to get it done with ASAP so she could take part in my daughter’s birthday party that we’ve been planning.

So here we are, about 2 weeks left in school as an undergrad, and I am ready to face whatever else Murphy has in store for me. Would it be bad to admit that up until now, I think I simply have been winging it? When someone asks me “How do you do it?” Trust me, I am not lying, nor trying to be humble when I respond “I don’t know.” All I do know though, is there are certain things I have learned, and perhaps the most I learned was in this last semester.

Though this might be the last blog post that will be graded, this Desi Girl will keep the blog up and alive. This might be my last few weeks as an undergrad, this Desi Girl is more ready now than ever before to do more with life, and refuses to think this is the where the road ends for school; this is just the last step in the first staircase of many more to come. Thank you all so very much for reading! Desi Girl will be back soon with lots more interesting details to share!

Baby Shower – The Desi Way

      

A baby shower can be so many things to people from different parts of the world, yet the underlying theme is always the same – showering the Parents-to-be with love and gifts. The history of celebrating and welcoming a new family member goes back a long way.

    

The ancient Egyptians and Greeks celebrated the birth of a child after it is born. During the Middle-Ages, silver spoons were presented to the newborns from his/her godparents. The Renaissance era emphasized the family; expectant mothers were celebrated and presented with gifts and food on painted trays adorned with messages. In the Victorian Era, pregnancies were kept secretive, and other women would host Tea Parties postpartum. It wasn’t until the early 20^th century that modern version baby showers came about.  

     

For Desis, the baby shower is often referred to as a “Godh Barahee” ritual (which literally translates into filling the lap). The families and friends of the parents-to-be celebrate by bestowing blessings on the baby and the mother.

      

This past weekend, I went to my best friend’s baby shower. Everything about the event was simply fabulous. The theme of the baby shower was Paris. In its entirety, the baby shower, from the décor to the food, and the added desi ritual up to the games were simply amazing.

       

 Since my best friend’s husband had a flight to catch, the baby shower started with a quick and entertaining game timing the couple as they each changed a baby’s diaper and swaddled it. Surely, the mommy-to-be won by a whopping 8 seconds!

        

As the guests continued to arrive, everyone was mingling. Then the ceremony began. The lap of the mother-to-be was filled with 7 different fruits and vegetables. Back home since the gender of the baby is normally not revealed, a game is played whereby the expectant mother pulls out 1 of the fruits and/or vegetables that her lap is filled with, without seeing it. The gender of the fruit/vegetable pulled determines the gender of the upcoming baby. Although it isn’t accurate, it’s a fun game that everyone enjoys. Another reason behind filling the lap is imply that the mother’s lap remain “filled” with children. Yet some believe it is a way of blessing the child, that may he or she live a long fruitful life.

After the lap filling, the expectant mother is fed sweets. Further everyone raises their hands in praying that may god bless the mother and child and pray for their wellbeing.  

Shortly thereafter everyone was invited to help themselves to the wonderful buffet that was set up. There were lots of things to choose from. Although there are no real specifics about what should be served at a baby shower/godh barahi.  My friends mom’s made Haleem which is a meal in itself! It’s a unique stew – combination of lentils, wheat, barley and meat. Generally however, because this event is held in the late afternoons, desi snacks (veggie dips, samosas, rolls, sandwiches, chat, and fresh fruit type of things) along with cake and drinks could also be served.

Speaking of drinks, the girls involved in hosting the baby shower made this amazing drink that I simply could not get enough of. I had to resist though because it was made using soda, and juices. Not only did it taste good, it went beautifully with the theme. 

The games were played next. The first game had all the guests place a paper plate on their head and draw a picture of baby, the person with the best drawn picture won a prize! The next game, was by far my favorite game! Guests were given white onesies and fabric markers, and the task was a decorate it for the baby to be. There were several awesome designs made. My favorite was designed by the daddy-to-be’s sister, where wrote in blocky letters, “My Phupo (Dad’s Sister) is the BEST.” However the winner was my friend’s mother-in-law who drew the digestive system with a cute, funny, and personalized message.

In the next game we were tasked with making diapers using toilet paper. Ours didn’t hold out too well. The last game that was played consisted of us guessing the diameter of the mommy-to-be’s belly. Somehow, my sister ends up winning this game wherever we go. The very last thing on the agenda was the cutting of the cake. The cake was simply superb! It was made by Sweet Moments Inc, in Sunrise, Florida; you can find more information on them through facebook or their website http://www.sweetmomentsinc.com/. 

        

As times have changed, and the way things are celebrated might have changed as, but the baby shower is still centralized around the idea of celebrating the upcoming birth and the soon to be parents, while showering them with presents and blessings.

      

That’s all for now, but in the coming months, once the ceremonies and rituals are performed for post birth, be rest assured, this Desi Girl will keep you entertained and informed. For now, I need to plan my Daughter’s birthday party, so be on the lookout for that throughout this month as I start the planning, and implementing process. Pinterest and other blogs have such wonderful ideas for me go off of, it seems as though NOTHING is impossible now!